The only way to beat the fear is to go out there and do it. – dipping into your personal jungle First, we need to understand why we are frightened. We are scared because we want to compete with others, but why do we think we need to compete? To be perfectly honest, most of us compete to see who can provide the smallest amount of security for our ego – which is of course – the most insecure part of us.Perhaps you have competing thoughts skimming around your head right now. Maybe you are afraid of what people would say if you approached a woman because people usually assume it is the wrong thing to do. You get it, you really do. We are wired differently and react accordingly. It is hard to over think when it comes to attraction however, there are some useful exercises that you can do to help with this.
The thing to understand is the ‘don’t care’ frame is dangerous because it can lead to a negative outcome. In the real world, nobody is going to reject me because they will not know me. I can either have a positive experience, or people will think I am an idiot. Either way, I win! I can be rejected, big deal! People can just ignore me because I am not in the Big Apple much. I can have a drink thrown in my face, and folks can do immature things. It’s just the nature of the game.Now, you will notice that sometimes you ‘don’t care’ so badly, other times you are pretty bust out of then. If this is happening to you, just try to remember that confidence is a lot sexier than being rejected. Sometimes, you will be rejected but at least people see the smoking hot woman across the bar that you wish you could get. You might have already lost that one, too.
Confidence is always better than negativity and even fear. Fear is not sexy and you are doing yourself a disservice. If you fear rejection, you are hardly going to be ready to approach anyway. So the next time you are scared, remember that you belong with that crowd and you should be embarrassed to approach attractive women. Remember, you were just not ready 99% of the time anyway.Don’t over analyze things, allow the pros to speak for themselves and show you the real person behind the words. Enjoy yourself when you are chatting up that hot chick because practice makes perfect with just a few simple words. Remember that you should never care ‘a bit’ what anyone thinks – especially when you are in the presence of the one you adore. Being carefree is a quality that most of the world’s best seducers possess.
If you feel the need to sugar coat anything, then go for indirect openers. This is the kind of opener that is used by the weather gurus to start a conversation. You don’t have to be a weatherman to strike up a conversation. Here is an example of an indirect opener: ‘Hi, I watched the sunset and it reminded me of you.’ The weather gurus have the best of intentions but the thing is, they don’t finish their sentences.So instead of saying ‘hey did you enjoy yourself with the weather’ you could say ‘I’ve always enjoyed watching the sunset and it reminds me of you’. Suddenly you are in another world with her. She can relate to your conversation and has a meaningful answer prepared.
There are exceptions to the rule of course. If she is particularly nervous to start a conversation this is a big sign that you may not have anything in common. She will try to talk to you. It is up to you if you care to give her your undivided attention.The other times you may encounter someone who seems really shy. She is not an attention seeker and has nothing to gain from approaching you. However, if she seems interested in you but doesn’t seem to want to divulge the details by asking personal questions, then here is where you know what you are dealing with. She is more willing to divulge personal details about herself to attractive prospects.
My advice is that you hone in on the signals that she is interested in you. These signals come quickly and if they are not there, walk away. Always look for the green light. If you are unsure go ahead and talk to her. I know a lot of guys all too well. When it is time to go in for the kill they wander, wondering what to look for. A good Trick is to constantly change the topic of conversation.Bring something new up always. Once you crack the ice, she will be delighted and start chatting away.To conclude, keep these little tips in mind and go get your girl. A single woman is a one in a million chance so take your time and hone your skills.